Student teaching turned into subbing, turned to full time 3rd grade teacher, and then into full time 5th grade teacher.  Life is much different now.  I have a 7 year old, 1st grade son that I am trying to wrap up adopting.  I have two greyhounds. I have a house. I finally have the life that fits my body type.  I was Dad Bod before it was cool.  I also can tell real Dad jokes now.  Not just "faux pa" ones.  Things I also have?

   Well...depression and a therapist.  Anti-anxiety meds for daily consumption.  Guilt.   Stress.   Ghosts in my head that keep me awake every single night.

    I do feel bad about all of that stuff.  I know some of it good, and helpful.  However, I always feel like I have way to much to possibly be sad, stressed, or haunted.  I feel guilty for not being able to deal with life in a manly fashion.  

    I am a pretty good, husband, father , and teacher. But, it never feels good enough. Not for my wife, son, or students.  It never feels good enough for me.

    Maybe picking up writing on something where no one can see it but me will help.  At least it is out of me and in the world.

So, here we go.